I Am a Lamanite.

As we read the Book of Mormon, it is easy to come to the conclusion that the Lamanities are a wicked ruthless people. At times it may seem they don't have one once of goodness in them. Which, at times, might be true. But I think, at least for me, I often stand on the side of the Nephite's, point my finger, and say, "I'm not one of them. I'm a good person." Which is hopefully true too, but not at all a fair statement.

I love the Book of Mormon for many reasons, but two of those reasons that have lifted me and taught me perhaps the most through the years, is what it shows us. There are good people and bad people.

The book spends plenty of time painting the picture of the righteous leaders (King Benjamin, Mosiah), the prophets (Alma the elder, Lehi), rock solid missionaries (Alma the younger, Ammon, the Sons of Mosiah), leaders (Captain Moroni!), the faithful mothers (the mothers of the Sons of Helaman), disciples (the Nephi's, Helaman, Enos, Enoch, and everyone else I didn't mention), and so on. We learn the attributes of what makes them great, what makes them humble, what makes them righteous. We see their amazing faith (the Brother of Jared). We see when they had down times, when they were chastened (the Brother of Jared got chewed out for hours because he didn't pray!), and how they reacted to that chastisement. How they reacted to their trials and persecutions, how they responded to the commandments of the Lord. How quickly and fully they repented when they realized their follies. The Book of Mormom shows us perfectly how we should live our lives and how we can handle each and every situation in life.

You'd think that would be enough right?! We see all the good and how we should be. Ultimately, how we can be like Jesus Christ. How to live as He did, and how He would have us live.

But that's not enough. And I'm grateful that's not all it includes.

The Book of Mormon also shows us the wicked side, or perhaps better stated, the natural man.

Mosiah 3: 19  For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

We all have the natural man in us. It's not easy for me to put off the natural man all the time. It's not easy for me to be as the faithful people I mentioned above. But reading about the above mentioned people shows me it is POSSIBLE to be that way. It gives me HOPE that I CAN overcome the natural man.


The other day I was reading in 3 Nephi 3. It talks about the Gadianton Robbers (who in our day could be compared to some certain unnamed groups). They had secret oaths, lived in caves, and desired to take down everyone who opposed them. Their leader wrote the Nephite leader a letter, basically telling him to join them or they will all be destroyed.

Verse 4 really struck me:

"...and knowing of their everlasting hatred towards you because of the many wrongs which ye have done unto them..."

I know I've read this many times. And the scriptures mention this same fact over and over again. The Lamanites are bitter toward the Nephites because they feel like the Nephites wronged them. It started with Laman and Lemuel. They lacked faith (as a wise Bishop once taught me). They lacked faith to see the hand of God in their lives. They lacked the faith to understand that the trials and challenges they were facing and going through were really God preserving them and blessing them. They felt that their father Lehi had wronged them, by taking them away from Jerusalem and out into the wilderness, and eventually to the Americas. They felt that their brother Nephi had wronged them by being their leader (as he was called of God to be). They couldn't see past the end of their noses to see the good that was happening in their lives. And because of that, they lived hateful vengeful lives. An attitude that they passed down from one generation to the next for hundreds and hundreds of years!!

All because they felt they were wronged.

That statement invokes in me a sense of sympathy for them. They were people just like me and you. I bet they were popular. Maybe they had a lot of friends. They weren't poor, their father was a prophet. I'm sure they started out pretty normal. I'm also sure that they envisioned a life totally different than what they ended up with! (Really, who would envision the life they lived. I don't think many of us dream about leaving all of our belongings and wandering in the wilderness and starting our own civilization). The point is, they were people, probably much like you and me. They had feelings and emotions. They wanted a good life, and they felt like because of someone else they were wronged. They were denied the life they would have enjoyed.

Do you ever feel like that? I do. I have felt like that a lot in my life. My parents were divorced when I was four. My mom had to go back to school, and because of these changes in my life and many things after, I went through a period in my life where I definitely felt that I was wronged! I didn't get to have a happy healthy home life to grow up in. I didn't get a lot of things. And just as the Lamanites, I was bitter. Angry at my parents, angry at others. Just like the Lamanites, that anger turned to selfishness. The Lamanites were SUPER selfish!! Even among the Nephites, selfishness caused contention and war. My selfishness stemmed from my feelings of being "wronged". Maybe we have felt "wronged" by someone at church. "They weren't nice to me when I was new" or "they didn't respond to my comment the way I wanted them to." "Those kids didn't include me and I felt left out" "The Bishop didn't let me  do what I wanted to do." "They don't teach good enough lessons", even going as far as, "When I was struggling no one from the church came and helped me." There are so many reasons we can feel wronged, or perhaps in a more familiar term, that we get offended. And we leave the church. We are Lamanites. When I moved to Utah in 7th grade I totally got offended by other kids in my class, even by adults, who judged me and criticized me because I was different. Because I wasn't perfect. And I turned away from the church. But I never lost my testimony. I'm grateful for that, because I eventually realized the follies of my ways and came back. I LOVE this quote I got in my inbox the other day,

Change...

   “We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.”

― Katharine Hepburn

So what if your situations are what they want. So what if it's because they are because of the actions of someone else. Are we going to be as the Lamanites and keep that hatred in our hearts for generations? Yes, I validate your feelings! I want validation for my own feelings. It's painful!!! It is painful. At times I wanted justice for those I felt wronged me. I wanted to feel better... but that doesn't help me feel better. I want to be as Alma and the sons of Mosiah, and as the Anti-Nephi Lehi's and repent so well that I have no desires to return to my sins. That I can have the desires to share the truth I've found with others, like in Elder Bednards talk (READ IT!! I love it!)

What helps me feel better is the healing balm of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He can heal me. He can validate me and help me find faith! Find faith in God's plan for me! Help me recognize that my trials are for my ultimate preservation! In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we often talk about the Plan of Happiness. That this life is just a short time in the eternal scheme of things. That we are here to be tried and tested. Yes, I believe it. I know it's true. I know we'll have challenges and trials and hard things to prove us and to test us. But do I want it for me? No. Go ahead and test everyone else, but please make my life easy. HA! Sorry sista, it doesn't work that way (saying that to myself). A few times in life I have stopped and wondered why I got the short end of the stick. Why is life SOOOO hard. And every once in a while I feel comforted to know that what I'm going through gives me perspective into the lives of countless others. We may feel alone in our stuggles. We may feel that we are the only ones that feel this way. But we aren't. I think we all have similar feelings and emotions. I think while we might all go through different struggles, the feelings we walk away with are very much the same. And I love that even more than anyone else, our Savior KNOWS! I saw a quote on Instagram the other day,

When you feel like you're "drowning" in life's situations, don't panic.

Your lifeguard walks on water.

- @the36thavenue.com

So back to what I was saying at the beginning. There is a reason why the Book of Mormon also goes into great details about the characteristics and attitudes of the "wicked". Because even though we may be "Nephites", following Gods plan, walking on the path of righteousness, keeping the commandments. We all have those natural tendencies that may lead us to the dark side. lol. But honestly, how can we know what we need to change, what we need to be aware of in ourselves, if we don't know what the wrong attitudes and habits are. We must see the light and the dark to tell the difference of night and day. Perhaps we're not Nephites at all. Perhaps we don't even realize that there is a side we must chose. There is, and one day we must all make that decision.

I love the Book of Mormon. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am working on loving everyone I meet, including those that may also be in the church. But I have long overcome the tendency to connect imperfect people with the beautiful light of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It breaks my heart when I hear about people who shut the door on the Lord because of what an imperfect human has done. Let us not be Lamanites. But rather let's do as Elder Uchtdorf said in the October 2014 general conference talk, "Lord, is it I?"

"It was our beloved Savior’s final night in mortality, the evening before He would offer Himself a ransom for all mankind. As He broke bread with His disciples, He said something that must have filled their hearts with great alarm and deep sadness. “One of you shall betray me,” He told them.

"The disciples didn’t question the truth of what He said. Nor did they look around, point to someone else, and ask, “Is it him?”

"Instead, “they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?”¹ 

"I wonder what each of us would do if we were asked that question by the Savior. Would we look at those around us and say in our hearts, “He’s probably talking about Brother Johnson. I’ve always wondered about him,” or “I’m glad Brother Brown is here. He really needs to hear this message”? Or would we, like those disciples of old, look inward and ask that penetrating question: “Is it I?...”

"In these simple words, “Lord, is it I?” lies the beginning of wisdom and the pathway to personal conversion and lasting change."

"Trust God and believe in good things to come."

Have you ever felt like you had a trial that would never end??! A trial, burden, whatever. No matter what you did, how hard you tried, what you did right, or fixed in your life, or whatever amount of effort you put into making a difference, the trial would just not go away, even after years of struggling with it?!

That is exactly how I have been feeling. And as soon as my specific trial started looking on the up and up, and my hope was full of moving on to some other trial that life wanted to throw at me (anything but this one, please!!), I found myself right back at square one. Bring on the water works. I have never in my life been so full of despair and hopelessness, and for such a long period of time. Even though I have been praying, studying my scriptures, diligently keeping the commandments to the best of my abilities, seeking the Lord, attending the temple, listening to words of wisdom from wise leaders and prophets, it seemed that no relief was to be found. There was simply no way to overcome. What a bummer (and what an understatement that is).

Then I started thinking about miracles, and faith. I feel like I have a lot of faith. I don't have many doubts, except in my own circumstances I guess. I know that anything and everything is possible with the Lord, but that doesn't mean that what I want, or what I have faith in, is what God has planned for me. I mostly doubt myself I guess. Or perhaps rather I doubt that my trial will ever end. The thing that has always seemed the hardest for me feels too heavy to bear, and I am at the end of my rope. I have lost hope that I can continue down this road any longer.

After I had started thinking about faith and miracles, struggling to gain my resolve to continue onward, I had an awesome experience where a small, but significant miracle happened. It wasn't anything huge, but it spoke volumes to me that God is watching out for me, and that He can make things happen. That started me realizing that I need to accept God's will for me. That maybe there is a reason I am stuck in this trial. Not maybe, there IS a reason. With my little miracle, I thought about how the same scenario could have happened with one small alteration, and it wouldn't have seemed like a miracle at all.  It could have simply been written off as "good luck" or "chance" or "of course it happened that way". But it didn't. What made it a miracle is that the initial circumstances I was walking into was IMPOSSIBLE. It shouldn't have worked out. But, it DID! It was a "there was a last minute alteration" to the scenario, and it worked out in my favor. It was a miracle. And I felt extremely blessed. And it was something I needed.

This situation led me to realize this very crucial idea,

The greatest miracles occur when something seems impossible. 

I know that's not always the case. Even things that aren't impossible can be great miracles! Miracles happen every day!! But when things seem impossible, that is MOST DEFINITELY a breading ground for miracles!

So here is my conclusion:

When life has you down, and things seem at most completely and utterly impossible. That is when you must grab hold to your faith and do not let go! For faith always proceeds the miracle, and when you challenge faith to the impossible, a miracle is most certainly what will occur!!

Instead of becoming discouraged at impossible, be strengthened by the possibilities of great miracles! Remember it might not be what, how, or when you want. BUT it will happen, in time. DON'T LOSE YOUR FAITH!!!


Even though I've been thinking of this, things have still be really hard and disheartening. On Sunday the stake Relief Society put together a special RS meeting, and it was a really big deal that all the women in the ward were there. I however had Mabel, and it was just one of those days. I was pretty bummed that I had missed most of the beginning of it, and as I finally was able to sit down and listen, I had no idea what they were talking about. Though it sounded good. And it sounded like something I really could have benefited from. The ladies were crying and sharing personal experiences of overcoming difficult times (yep, I could use that right now!) Well, it was a nice meeting, but I didn't feel lifted or strengthened, and was a rather disappointed about it.

Then right at the end they handed out a piece of chocolate and this quote,

Oh man. It hit me so hard. It was just what I needed. A miracle. Hope. Encouragement. Strength.


That is one thing that the Lord ALWAYS is: Hopeful! and Encouraging! A friend pointed out earlier, (not an exact quote) "that while the world seems hopeless and there is trouble every where, all of that discouragement comes from the world. However dark the days may seem, the Prophets, the Apostles, the leaders of the church, they are ALWAYS full of HOPE! Full of encouragement, faith, support, love... they know what is at the end of the road. They know the Lord always wins, and if we stay faithful, obedient, and continually repent, then we with the Lord will also win in the end, and all will be well, and it will all be worth it!!" I love that!! It is so true!


This weekend is the semi-annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. One of my most favorite weekends ever!! I love hearing the messages and feeling the Spirit, and receiving that reassurance that the Lord knows me and loves me. There is never a conference weekend when I don't hear something that was written just for me! That is a miracle. :) I would love to invite all of you to also tune in and listen to the words spoken by prophets of the Lord in our day. You can watch, listen, and find out more HERE. I often hear people say that if you have a question, about anything, if there is a God, what you should do in your life, how to help your child, etc. If you pray and ask God, and then listen to conference, He will answer you, and you will know. I think I'm going to try that this weekend. See if I can't get some needed answers to some of my own concerns and questions.

Anyway, I am starting to feel better! I am so blessed in my life, and recognizing the blessings and friendships that I do have, are a tremendous strength. Sometimes when life seems the hardest, those often are the times I feel the loneliest. But I take great comfort to know that we are never alone. I owe all my strength and blessings to the knowledge I have received through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It doesn't mean that life is easy, but it makes it possible! And it brings peace and joy despite all the difficulties life throws at me. I wish I could share the love and spirit I feel with the entire world!!! That everyone can know just how much you are loved, and how important you are!! Though I know those feelings only truly come as we personally turn our lives toward the Savior, Jesus Christ. I am ever amazed at how little I know, and how little I knew at those times when I thought I "knew" it all. I look forward to all the lessons I have yet to learn. :)

Daily Scripture: Continue in a Straight Course

I have been following along with the @BofM365 account on Instagram, where they post a set of scriptures to read everyday, and if you keep up with the schedule weepy will finish by the end of the year. They also include a question, that people can comment on, and there is always a lot of great insights shared. Today's reading is Alma chapter 56:18-40. The question they asked was: Why wouldn’t either army turn to the right or to the left? How could this be a metaphor for staying on the “strait and narrow path"?

First a little background. As I mentioned in my previous post, the Nephite's and Lamanities are still at war. The Lamanities had overtaken a lot of the Nephite cities and they wanted to take them back. The army of Antis has been fighting, trying to defend their city, and were weary, when along came the army of Helaman, with his 2,000 sons (the young sons of the people of Ammon, who had covenanted not to fight). They continue to receive more provisions and are strengthened. They Denise a plan to lead some of the Lamanities away from a city they had captured and gain it back. Here the sons of Helaman are basically running away from the Lamanities, leading them into the wilderness. It says that neither army dared to turn to one side or the other for fear they would be overtaken by the other. The army of Antipus is in the rear, to fight the Lamanities on the other side, to help protect the sons of Helaman. They ran a long time, I believe days, before the army of Antipus caught up to the Lamanities, and the sons of Helaman turned around to help them.

My comment was:
We have been told to focus our lives on Christ. To always remember Him, or always look to Him as it were. We tend to go in the direction we are looking, so if we are looking straight ahead at Christ we will go straight. If we turn to one side or another, looking away from Christ, getting distracted by other things, that is when we face the danger of being caught in Satan's snares, or in being overcome by the temptations of the devil, and being spiritually destroyed. Had the sons of Helaman turned to either side, they feared they would be overtaken by the Lamanities and killed, so they kept running forward. It wasn't until they had the help of the army of Antipus that they turned and fought the Lamanities. Sometimes we do have to fight our trials, but if we wait until we have the help of others (our Bishop and leaders, and the Lord, the help of prayer, the scriptures and the temple, etc.) then we can fight them and overcome them without being injured. We cannot do it alone. But we can avoid a lot of the wars in our own life if we just keep looking forward.

Daily Scripture: Gather Around & Protect

I recently finished reading a story in the Book of Mormon that changed the way I see my role as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

First a little background story: Alma, Ammon, and the sons of Mosiah are Nephites (a group of people that throughout the Book of Mormon are typically known as the believers, or followers of Christ). After they were converted, they went on missions to teach the Lamanites (the people typically known as the unbelievers, and almost always were filled with hatred towards the Nephities and often went to war with them) about Christ. These missionaries were VERY succesful in converting many Lamanites, an entire kingdom in fact. The stories of these men are amazing!! You can read about them in part starting in Mosiah chapter 27 (where Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah are introduced) to the end of Alma chapter 28.

The part of the story that I want to discuss right now is right at the very end of this long story. (Alma chapters 26-28)  One group of people who were converted were previously a very wicked people: murderers, stole, you name it, they probably did it. Anyway, they were converted to the Lord, and the Lord redeemed them from their sins. This group of people, who called themselves the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's, and latter the people of Ammon, had so fully repented that they dared not pick up their weapons of war again lest their sins be brought back on them. They would rather die. Well, after they were converted, some other Laminites were angry with them and came to fight them. The Anti-Nephi-Lehi's lay on the ground praising God as the Laminites came and slaughtered them. (Wow, this sounds so gory.) But then many of the Lamiinites were also converted due to their example, and they stopped. But not all of them were. As the Laminities were about to return to fight with them again, God told Ammon to lead them to the Nephites for safety. But the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's feared that because they had previously killed so many of the Nephities, that the Nephites would not help them. But they did. As the Nephites saw their conversion, they gave up an entire city for them to live in! (This is amazing thing number 1! Can you image moving everyone out of your entire city so that your previous enemies can live there?? Think about it.) Then, not only did they give them their city, but they put guards all around the city to protect them. (Amazing number 2: they put themselves in danger to fight for and protect them.) After this the Lamanites came to battle with the Nephites. It says that it was the greatest battle yet to be had between the Nephites and the Lamanites. But the people of Ammon still did not break their covenant with God. After this, there were many more wars. And it got to a point where they felt that they had to fight and help the Nephites, but NO ONE WOULD LET THEM! Even their own young sons went and fought that they would not break their covenants, and were miracoulsly protected.

So here is what really blows my mind, in summary:

The Nephites knew that the people of Ammon had entered into a covenant with God that they would not take up arms again. The Nephites, and remember that the people of Ammon probably killed a lot of their loved ones, but nevertheless they loved these people so much that they welcomed them into their lands, gave up their homes, and gave their own lives. The Nephites gathered around them and protected them. In essence they said, "I will give my own life in order to prevent you from breaking your covenants with God."

They gathered around them, gave their time, their efforts, their lives and said,  I will not let you do the wrong thing. Now apply that to us, today. What if every member of the church today, gathered around each other, and new converts, gave of our time, our energy, our love, and said, "I will not let you return to your sins. I will love you, and I will protect you. I will give you a place in my life that you may live and be safe from the temptations of life." How would we be different? How would the world be different? If we stopped bikering, stopped fighting each other, stopped keeping-up-with-the-Jones's, stopped gossiping, stopped excluding. If we looked around at each other, realized we are all sinners, that we all need to be gathered and protected. Our hearts would be healed of so much pain and hurt. We would be united in strength and power, just as the Nephites were. The Sons of Helaman (as were called the sons of the people of Ammon) were saved and none perished in war. What if all of our sons and daughters could have that same blessing upon them, to be protected and strengthened as they go out into the ragging war of the world.

What a powerful example of one, the importance of keeping our covenants, but two, helping each other. Not turing the blind eye and letting others do what they know is wrong. Obviously it is not our place to dictate and demand perfection of others, but rather do as the Nephites. Open our homes and our lives and love in a way that we give our all to others.

There are a few times in my life, and a few people, that cross my mind at least multiple times a week, if not every day. I realized after thinking about this example, that those times in my life that are the most significant to me and that I am the most grateful for, are the times when those people gathered around me, loved me, and in essence interacted with me in a way that said, "I am not going to let you go back to your sins. I am going to lift you and protect you." Those are the moments that I hold dear to my heart, and are the most powerful in my constant conversion.

I know the scriptures are real. That as we read and study their words, things will be revealed to us that we need to know. Ways that we need to live our lives. How to act and treat others. And how to keep the covenants we've made with God. This story is not far from the life we all live right now. I hope that I can be converted to living this way, and gather in those in my life who need to be gathered, and pass on those blessings that I've received in the past.

The Daily Scripture: The Not So Daily, Daily Scripture Thoughts of Diane Bohn

The not so daily Daily Scripture thoughts of Diane Bohn

I do not claim that any of this is correct, 

but these are my thoughts and inspirations as I study the scriptures, 

and specifically the Book of Mormon, everyday.

As I have been reading the Book of Mormon this year, I have learned so many things, received so many epiphanies that have helped me, strengthened me, and widened my understanding of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As well as my role in it. I have felt for a while now that I should record the things I am learning beyond my own personal scripture notes. I am finally starting. My hope is that this will become a regular thing, and whether long or short, I can share my thoughts with some, and they will also help those some to become better and gain a better understanding of our Savior Jesus Christ. I testify that He lives. He loves us. He is there to help us more than we will ever know!! My understanding is limited, but these are things that I have come to know for myself through the Holy Ghost. I know that as you search the scriptures, and humbly seek for answers and your own knowledge, our loving Heavenly Father will bestow His love and knowledge upon you in abundance. Of this I have no doubt.

You can request a free Book of Mormon by visiting Mormon.org. You can also meet with the missionaries of The Church of Latter-Day Saints and ask them your questions, and learn more about the church and our beliefs.

I invite you to leave comments and share your thoughts or ask questions. I would love to have discussions and share ideas. I will approve each comment, and will not post negative or hurtful posts. Please be kind. If you do not agree with what I write, you don't have to read my blog. This is my personal blog, and I can do with it what I want. :D I am telling you this upfront so you know what to expect. I am not posting my thoughts and beliefs to start arguments or cause contention. I am choosing to do this so that those who are seeking may find what they are looking for.

Disclaimer: The Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect. The members are NOT. As I learn HOW we as members SHOULD be, and share those ideas, please do not expect us to be perfect. Do not expect me to be perfect. I'm human. Please do not expect every member to have a perfect understanding, or even similar understandings, of the Gospel and how we should live. We are ALL human, and we all fall short. This is exactly the reason WHY we need the Gospel AND our Savior Jesus Christ. Please, when the time comes that someone offends you (yes, I said WHEN not IF), do not hold it against the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Remember the people make mistakes, as well as me. Do not let that deter you from learning the truth.

Happy Fourth of July!

We had a great time celebrating the fourth in our new town. So much so that I'm going to blog about it. :)

Here's a quick overview. We watched some world cup soccer. Good times! Hunter has been loving watching the games with Neil. I love it too. He's so cute as he cheers on the teams and talks about stuff with Neil. Love that boy.

Then we went for a hike. I tried to find some trails online. The closest one was on a small mountain just outside of town. We couldn't really find it where it said it was, so we drove around a bunch of hills and through some neighborhoods up on the mountain and found a logging road. So we parked on the street, had lunch and went for our "hike" we did actually end up finding a real trail, though it was probably only half a mile if that. :) We had a great time though!! Mabel cracks me up! She was doing this crazy dance by the car while we were eating:

it started with these pictures:

and ended with this video:

ha!

Some pictures from the trail:

Then we had a bbq with a bunch of friends at the park. Good times!!

Then we went to a friends house a lit fireworks. My friend is an amazing photographer!!! She gave me some pointers while we were at the park so I of course brought over my camera and had to practice. I love these shots:

Then we went home. Saturday we wen to the pool. WAY over priced. and everywhere we turned there was rule after rule. I'm sure they were all good. But with all the pools we've been to in all the states we've lived in and visited, I've never seen so many rules. Kind of made it a drag. Especially since so many of them were that my children couldn't do this or that with a life jacket on. Not to mention that because we had to take their life jackets off, Jackson jumped into the lazy river without me even knowing and a lifeguard had to pull him out. My boys have no fear, but they don't know how to swim yet. We do keep track of our kids, but I don't care who you are, it only takes one second to lose sight of them, or for them to go jump in the water. I take great comfort knowing that they have a life jacket on to keep them afloat. We still had fun, but I don't think we'll go back. Twice as expensive and a hundred times more rules = not the top of my list of things I want to do. Ok, end of my rant. :)

Anyway, we had a great time. And tonight I gave Neil, Jackson and Tommy a haircut! Tommy's first and boy is he ever wiggly!! I guess I didn't too bad considering how impossible it was for him to hold still for even a minute. I'm so sad. My baby is turning into a boy. :(

School Fieldtrip to the Zoo

Hunter went to the zoo recently (the end of February) and I got to go with him as a chaperone! It was so much fun!!! I love that boy. And I love that he was so excited to have me with him.

His class

First we went to presentation where they showed us, and talked about, different animals.

a humongous scorpion. yuck.

This HUGE frog. It is poisonous and will kill anything that eats it, or even touches is (and then puts their fingers in their mouths - like people.)

Iguana

I think this snake is the Florida King Snake. It can eat all four of the poisonous snakes that are here in Florida. I think I will take 5 of these and keep them in my yard. ;)

an owl.
On the way out we all got to touch the snake, bunny, and the iguana. It was kind of neat.


we got to ride the little train. It was weak sauce and only went around the parking lot. But that's ok! It was fun. The kids favorite part was riding through the "tunnel" that was really the garage/shed that they park it in, but open the doors on both ends. lol.

Then we had lunch and split off into our groups. Hunter's class had a lot of chaperone's so I only had one other boy in my group. Justin, I think. lol. I already forgot. He was a cute boy and we had fun racing past everything so they could play on the playground. :)

They even had a dinosaur in the prehistoric area. ha!
The boys LOVED looking at the map, finding where we were and figuring out where we wanted to go next and how to get there.



some parrots. They were SO bright and beautiful.





We did stop and play chess for the last 15 min. I taught them how a little bit and they really enjoyed it! Hunter won. ;)

At one point Hunter ran over to the dipping dots ice cream stand, which wasn't open.
His classmate, Justin told him, "We are NOT getting ice cream." lol.
I said, "I think it's only open in the summer."
To which Justin replied, "It is summer."
Well, um. I'm not sure how to dispute that. It's February 21st and we are all wearing shorts and t-shirts. :)

Then we went home! I'm so glad we were able to go. They were supposed to go in January, but Hunter had been sick, which meant that the other kids and I were  sick on the field trip day. Hunter still could have gone, but I wouldn't have been able to go with him. We were both really bummed about that! Then it rained all that day! So they postponed it! Yay!

We are as little children...

This morning as I sat in the bathroom, trying to get a little break (because it's the one place where you can close the door on all those little people), my children kept coming and talking to me.

Mabel, asking through the house, "Can I color? Can I color?"
as she walked past Neil, Neil said, "Yes, you can color."
Mabel, "Mom! MOM!" looking for me "Mom, can I color?"
Me, "Yes, you can color." ... Dad already said you could.

A few minutes later, "Can you open this for me? Mom! Can you open this for me?" as she brought her little desk to me so she could get her coloring book out. (and I will add that she walked past Neil, again, to get to me.)
I told her, "Go ask Dad to open it for you. He is just sitting there, waiting for you to ask him so he can help you." He was sitting on his bed, reading.

As I thought about how children ALWAYS walk past the dad, never hardly ever asking him for anything, always going straight to mom, and sometimes ONLY willing to get mom's help. It hit me. We are all such foolish children. How many times do we wander around in our lives, asking questions, searching for help, looking for comfort, wanting answers, wanting only "mom's" help, when we have a LOVING HEAVENLY FATHER who is just sitting there. waiting. wanting to help us. And yet we just walk right by him. Sometimes even refusing to turn to Him.

I can't even count how many times I've had my hands full of work, cleaning, other children, and have directed my children to seek their father's help. He is capable, he is willing, and sometimes he's a lot more fun and lenient that I am. And yet it's always the same. They come to me. I certainly don't mind, in fact I really love it! I think if they never came to me I would cry my eyes out all the day long! But I find it interesting that we are commanded to pray to our Father. Just as in this earthly life, we must learn to turn to our earthly fathers, we must also learn to turn to our Heavenly Father.

He is there. He is waiting. He is willing to help, love, comfort, answer, teach, strengthen, bless, and so much more. Turn to Him. I know He is there. I know He loves you, just as I know He loves me. What a blessing, and what a silly struggle we have in learning to do this small and simple act.

and that is my epiphany for the day.

A Potty Trainining Miracle

This is my quick recap of the day's experience, that I shared on facebook:

What a day! Mabel brought out the little potty this morning and said to me, "Potty train me!" "uh, ok." She had two accidents, and went about a billion times. I've never seen someone go to the bathroom as much as she did today. She's a pro! I didn't even realize she was going half the time until she would bring me the bucket to show me.  What a great way to potty train! Now we'll see how the night goes. The hardest part was keeping the baby away from it. And the time I was leaving to the store and she grabbed her diaper and cried and cried that she didn't want to potty train anymore so she could come with me. ha.


It's truly been a miracle and I couldn't be more grateful!! What a great birthday present / wish come true. :) In January we started talking about that she needs to be potty trained by my birthday. We would calmly talk about it each week. I'd ask if she was ready, she'd say no, and we'd leave it at that until the next week. last week she started getting her M y Little Pony panties out. Yesterday she said she wants to potty train, we did a little in the bathroom, but she later said she didn't. Then today she kept telling me she wanted to, and she kind of just did it all herself! I  am SO glad I potty trained her along side Jackson last summer when we potty trained her. She was still having a lot of accidents so we kind of made her stop - against her will. She did not want to wear diapers, but she was clearly not ready, and say what you may, it saved our sanity to not deal with months of accidents.  Some people push it so hard, and talk about the headache it is. Waiting for them to say when has really made it a breeze! Especially with this determined girly. :) Thank you Miss Mabel for being so good to me! :)

Going back to school

I have been noticing a lot of resistance doing Hunter's homework since moving to Florida. He has so many things he's learning, and so many things he's supposed to be practicing at home. It hardly seems like kindergarten! I feel like they expect him to do nothing but study. What happened to "let kids be kids"? Of course there is that normal five year old resistence, though surprisingly, he is often pretty upbeat about it. The resistence I'm talking about is coming from me. I don't want to go back to school.

I stare into the years and years of the coming 12 years, times that by 4 kids and that equals too many hours of homework than I care to think about. Looking around right now at my 4 sick children, it hits me. Why didn't anyone slap me ac... que baby. (I didn't mean hit me literally. He threw up all over me not 5 seconds after I typed that last sentance. And I just gave him a bath right before writting this post too - he had poop down his leg. Yuck! Though it couldn't be more fitting for this post. Welcome to my world.) Now what was I saying? Oh yeah, why didn't someone slap me across the face and really make me realize what each child brings... more laundry, more dirty dishes, more homework, more toys to clean up, more drama, more sleepless nights... and the list goes on. Don't get me wrong, they are more than worth it! They bring so much joy, happiness, laughter, rewarding times, proud parent moments, eye opening experiences that let you enjoy a glimpse of heaven and God's amazing creations and love, and love in general, and so many other blessings that come with parenthood and having a family. I love it. And I dare say I would love to have more of these crazy rugrats running around my home (but not right now, please). I love them. My family is my greatest joy! They are worth all the effort and work and frustrations and whatever else. I wouldn't trade them for the world! But what I am saying is that this year, and probably mostly because we're all still adjusting to our recent move, it is hitting me harder than ever. I don't want more work. I want to play and be free. haha. (Makes me think of a punk song I used to listen to, "responsibility, what's that? Responsibility, now quite yet. I don't want to think about it...") Of corse I knew I'd be doing all these things. But realizing that the reality of it doesn't come with fluffy clouds and warm sing-song tones of compliance, brings a whole new meaning of motherhood.

Mothers of older children, I'm sure you've all hit this point before. I'm sure you're all chuckling inside and saying, "Just you wait...". Mothers with younger children, I'm sure you feel like you've hit this wall, but I will tell you, you will hit it again. Just as I'm sure I have many more walls of reality-checks to hit as my children grow and we reach new stages in our lives.

Now off to do more laundry, feed more hungry sick children, and dream of sneaking in a nap - for myself. ;)